TRIGGERS: 5) A Time You Felt Like Ending Your Life, 30 Days, Day 5

    This is probably going to be the hardest one of these I have to write because it's still relatively fresh in my mind.
    Some of you know, but most of you probably don't, but I attempted suicide for the first (and hopefully the last) time in my life about 2 months ago. Pills, it was always going to be pills...a mix of Klonopin and sleeping pills. In retrospect, it probably wasn't even enough to kill me, but I was in a terrible place and I couldn't even explain why if I tried. The urge just started, I got really anxious, started taking Klonopin to calm down, realized I'd taken 26 of them and decided to just finish what I'd started. I then crushed up an undisclosed amount of sleeping pills, mixed them with some pudding so I wouldn't taste them, and ate them.
    By the time the drowsiness hit me good and hard, I'd realized what a mistake I had made. I have tobthank my best friend, he knows who he is and I won't name him without his permission, for potentially (probably) saving my life. He was on Skype with me and just kept me talking and drinking water and awake until we thought I might be safe. When I finally felt okay to sleep, I was basically on autopilot for 2 day. I got up for food and the bathroom, but I don't remember any of it.
   All in all, I learned a lot. I learned I had more people than I ever could have thought when cared about me, and that suicide is not the answer. I hope my experience can help other people, especially if they're also transgender. Please, please don't become a statistic, please. Be strong, hold on, it does get better.